The Art of Mindfulness

Mindfulness originates from Buddhist and ancient eastern teachings. My favorite description of mindfulness is “The awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment.” Simply put mindfulness is fully being in the present, however, it is not simply done. It takes dedication and work, but the practice will change your life.

My therapist first introduced me to the art of mindfulness 2 years ago when I was struggling with spiraling thought patterns and lacking any joy in my daily activities. She explained to me how she first began her mindfulness practice through the task she resented most, the dishes. She explained how over time she began to love the act of doing the dishes through this practice, and found she was naturally more mindful through other moments of her life. She would first start by mindfully clearing out the sink and rinsing all the excess food from the dishes she was about to clean. She would watch as the water pressure forced the food from the dish and into the sink and down the drain. Then she would begin filling the sink with water, feeling the temperature as it went from warm to hot on her fingertips and enjoying the tingling sensations that the water brought to the rest of her body from the temperature difference of the air to the water. Then she would add some dish soap, taking in the aroma of it as it bubbles and suds up in the water. She would playfully feel the soap and bubbles pop and disappear under her fingertips. Then she would begin to scrub her dishes, enjoying the ritual of small manual circles with her sponge all over the dish, and taking care to repeat this process over tricky spots. Then she would do a final soothing sweep with her sponge to ensure the dish was free of all food. The rinse was the best part, a grand reveal of the dish she had so carefully cleaned. As she watched the suds run off the dish and into the sink. She would then carefully place her dish on the drying rack and let the magic of evaporation do its job while she washed the rest of her dishes. Upon completing the washing and rinsing process she would use a towel to hand dry each dish, polishing it and ensuring each one sparkled like new.

The act of mindfulness can be done in the most mundane everyday tasks. Personally, I have found mindfulness in preparing food and eating to be very beneficial for helping me overcome my bulimic eating tendencies. When I cook my food I start by evaluating the recipe (if I am using one) and getting out my ingredients. I measure them and organize them in an appealing way to me. My favorite part of mindfully prepping my food is the cutting of the fruits and vegetables that I am eating. I love to mindfully cut them into thin pieces, admiring the shape of the food as it is manipulated by my hands and knife. I love to lay and spread out the produce on my cutting board in a charcuterie board fashion. I deeply enjoy stirring the food I am preparing while it cooks on the stove and indulging in the aromas that happen over time as the food is cut and cooked. Plating is the most satisfying moment for me as I pick out an appropriate-sized plate or bowl and strategically layer the food. I love to make my food look as beautiful as possible while putting it on the plate I will eat it from. It makes my soul dance. Sometimes I pretend I am on a cooking competition show, and I am about to present this plate to a panel of judges. Though I don’t always photograph the food I prepare I do try to make it as beautiful as I can.

It doesn't stop at preperation

I was raised in a Mormon household and was taught the importance of praying before every meal to show appreciation for the food in front of me and to bless it to strengthen and nourish my body. After leaving the church I quickly abandoned this ritual as I was full of spite at the time. However, I quickly came back to it, making adjustments to match my belief system. 6 months ago I went to get sushi with 3 of my closest friends. One of the friends had rarely indulged in the delicacy of eating the raw fish and was a little nervous to give it a shot, but agreed anyway. As plates and plates of colorful rolls were brought out to us to share we all admired the colors and careful placings of the fish and vegetables. Then the friend who was nervous jokingly stated “watch we all get sick from this” we all laughed, brushed and this comment off like nothing, and began to eat the delicious rolls. The next evening I was hit with a sudden painful and nauseous feeling in my stomach and a few hours later was vomiting. The next morning my body was in so much pain I could barely move or function. The pain was radiating from my joints and spread down my limbs like electric pulses. I felt like I was being stabbed all over with knives. My other 3 friends also experienced extreme sickness, one was even hospitalized. I have since become vegetarian and now spend time admiring every meal before I eat it. I think of how thankful I am for the Earth and its ability to abundantly provide nutritious food that will strengthen my mind, body, and soul as I progress through life. I show appreciation and admiration to myself (or whoever prepared the meal) for their ability to prepare such a wonderful meal. And I thank the universe for placing me in the exact moment I am in where I can indulge in such a delicious meal. I then take my first bite. Taking care to taste every detail and feel every sensation of the food, I chew thoroughly reminding myself to break down every bit of nutrients for myself so my stomach can more easily digest and receive the nutrients of this food and gift it to the rest of my body. I try very hard to keep my thoughts in the present moment while eating as I believe this helps my body, mind, and soul relieve ample nutrition from the food I eat.

Food used to be an unhealthy coping skill for me.

I would eat while my mind would spiral into self-deprecating thoughts. I would eat as I stressed about traumatic events from my past. I would tell myself I deserved none of the food I was putting in my body. I intentionally ate foods such as celery that I knew would cause my body to work harder just to digest the food. I was so afraid of adding any weight to my extremely tiny frame. I would purge my previous night of over-snacking and self-hatred through hours and hours of exercise. I was always in at least 1 but upwards of 3 sports and was taking an athletic conditioning class as one of my electives every Semester. If I wasn’t moving my body to purge I was thinking about the next time I would be able to do so. I began seeing a doctor whom one of my therapists recommended. She quickly identified my bulimia and encouraged that I begin a nutrition program. I wanted to hear no such thing and feared my parents or other healthcare providers would find out about my eating disorder and try to send me away to a program. This would disrupt my extremely busy schedule for 6–12 months. And despite hating my life, I feared changing it. I hid this eating disorder from everyone for years. I told my current partner about it a year ago and he has been my biggest support in finding a nutrition plan that makes me feel my best and gently helps me recognize when I am spiraling into an eating binge to cope with my mental health and the stresses of my personal life. He encourages me to see my growth and pushes me to keep using the skills I have developed for self-improvement. Most importantly he celebrates me and has taught me that it’s okay to feel proud of myself and my dedication to healing.

Mindfulness and preparing most of the food I eat have taught me the value of nutrition. My mental health is nowhere near perfect and never will be, but the connection and self-love I have for myself exists now, and it did not 2 years ago. I am awe-struck by my progress when I reflect on where I was and where I am today.

I hope you can begin/continue your journey with mindfulness and watch in awe as it transforms your life as it has with mine.